coffeecrispsandcanadiantire:

-he’s grateful that at least he’s not being called out on it-

Of course it was. And just like then I still do not believe you when you say that. So you ought to invest time in finding a better story for your disappearances, ducky.

Rude. I’m not a liar.

-playful jab in the side-

coffeecrispsandcanadiantire:

welcometotheusabitches:

-grins up at him until his cheeks are pinched because ow- 

Hey hey hey--

-but the the smile is evident in his voice- Course I am! Can’t get rid of me that easy.

-he’ll just let go and look away because he’s not crying because he missed his idiot of a neighbour of course he’s not-

Did you get lost looking for the vacuum again?

-aw— -

-he’ll just distract him then, pretend not to notice as he keeps grinning and talking-

Nah, man, I told ya already! It was aliens, just kinda picked me up one day, had a nice trip. Made it to the Milky Way to see the stars all faded. Turns out Heaven is overrated.

-quoting overplayed pop songs is always the answer-

.

coffeecrispsandcanadiantire:

welcometotheusabitches:

YO MATTCAKES!

-tACKLES IN A VERY POORLY THOUGHT OUT MANEUVER, ALFRED THERE IS A SWING THERE-

Qu—

-well this was one thing he certainly wasn’t expecting, he’ll just fall off the swing ungracefully-

…

Oh.

You are alive.

-just-

-reaches up and pinches both of Alfred’s cheeks harshly, pulling them out a bit just to make sure that he’s not hallucinating or something.-

-grins up at him until his cheeks are pinched because ow- 

Hey hey hey--

-but the the smile is evident in his voice- Course I am! Can’t get rid of me that easy.

coffeecrispsandcanadiantire:

[He still hasn’t moved from his spot on the swing, even though it’s gotten quite a bit chilly out.

Nor is he planning on moving at all if he can help it. Unless someone forces him to, at least.]

YO MATTCAKES!

-tACKLES IN A VERY POORLY THOUGHT OUT MANEUVER, ALFRED THERE IS A SWING THERE-

sirgilbo started following you

Yo Prussia, ‘sup?

breviloquentbauhinia:

welcometotheusabitches:

-No problem-

‘sup? Nothing in particular.

Oh! Hey, why don’t we go do something? 

Do… what.

I have to get ready for the New Years’ thing. Like I need to get all my moping out of the way first. 

Why, what’s happening on your end. Tempt me.

You can get your moping out as we do stuff. ‘less ya wanna sit here and sigh and stuff all day.

Paintball.

coffeecrispsandcanadiantire:

welcometotheusabitches:

It totally works like that. Coffee chocolate bars are just wtf.

Here’s a little secret, Mattie. -mimics Scar’s voice from the Lion King-

I killed your hockey.

-also nyeh, wiggles his finger around a bit then pulls it back out-

-immature and gross, hA, SAYS THE ONE LICKING PEOPLE’S FACES-

-whatever, now Mattie knows what freedom tastes like-

-which he didn’t know before-

-because he’s a socialist commie red-

You just never had one, so you’re not a proper judge of whether or not they’re wtf.

And don’t call me Mattie.

-He’s going to bite your face if you say that one more time.-

-Instead just kind of grabs both cheeks and pulls.-

-You shush your opinion about his maturity is not relevant because he said it’s not-

-Yes, it tastes kind of gross.-

-Excuse you, Alfred-

-You know what fine. Fine. He is communist. How does it feel Alfred, being related to a communist.-

How would you know I haven’t tried one?

Fine.

Mattcakes.

Mattiepie.

Mattloaf with a side of Matt-tatoes.

-unfair, there is bias in this court, he files for a mistrail-

-no it tastes wonderful-

-xcuse ur fais-

-No Matt you are not allowed to be a communist no, bad— -

bloggingwithsass:

welcometotheusabitches:

bloggingwithsass:

Well, uh, it’s just…

….

-how explain-

-just going to gesture towards all of him-

-waits-

…

Forget it.

…

So, what brings ya here?

makewayforcanadabitches:

welcometotheusabitches:

-and crush them? no thanks— -

-YES-

-ALL THE TICKLING-

SURRENDER.

-CURLS MORE-

NEVER.

-MORE AGGRESSIVE TICKLES-

I’M BEING MERCIFUL, SURRENDER NOW.